1. PERSONAL
Be sure that you are in the affirmation. Use a first person pronoun such as "I," "me" "my" in each one. It may be tempting to use a platitude like "Pa"ience is a virtue," or "En"husiasm makes sales," but such sentences will have no effect whatever on your behavior. If you find yourself feeling some tension about your frequent use of "I"in your affirmations, simply recognize that tension as one more illustration of the effect of childhood programming on your behavior. The purpose of this entire exercise is to bring about some lasting changes in the self image, and the only way that will happen is with first person experience in your imagination, stimulated by a first person affirmation.
3. PRESENT TENSE
Reference to the past or the future in an affirmation will diminish or destroy the effect of the triggering sentence. "I am getting things done more promptly than I used to" will stimulate the experiences and emotions related to past behavior—and that is not what you want to be dwelling on. An affirmation phrased in the future tense always remains in the "some day" category and reinforces the fact that you are not behaving that way here and now. Instead of "I am going to be more patient," or, "One of these days I am going to get organized," the better affirmations are, "I am a very patient, understanding person," and, "I organize my time very carefully and follow the plans that I have made."
4. ACHIEVEMENT
The affirmation should indicate that the desired change has been achieved, not that you are growing or progressing in that area. Thus, "I have a sincere, outgoing, warm regard for others" will have a much greater effect than "I am steadily improving my warmth toward others." Your objective is to develop an affirmation which will easily evoke an imagined experience, and it is much easier to imagine the accomplished change than a changing process.
6. ACTION
The affirmation should represent an action, not an ability. Wording such as "I have the ability to remember names," or "I can relax," simply makes the affirmation more difficult to experience in the imagination. Better wording is, "I remember people’s names easily," and "I relax easily and quickly whenever I want to do so."
8. ACCURACY AND BALANCE
In those areas where a specific, measurable objective is part of your definition, do not overshoot in the hope that results may be achieved more rapidly. If you are affirming a particular weight level, golf or bowling score, or some other change which can be measured, then pinpoint the affirmation to the exact level you wish to achieve. Be careful what you affirm—it will happen!
9. REALISTIC
Do not affirm perfection. Such affirmations only lead to frustration, and in some cases are not truly representative of what you actually want to accomplish. For example, the affirmation, "I am always enthusiastic," may lead to frustration—and there are some occasions when it is not desirable to be enthusiastic. Look out for words like "always," "perfectly," and "completely."
10. YOURSELF ONLY
Sometimes it may be very tempting to write out an affirmation about someone else’s behavior, such as "People like me," or "My children admire and respect me." Unfortunately, your affirmations will only have an effect upon your behavior. In fact, there can even be a "backlash" effect if your affirmation develops an expectancy which conflicts with the perceived behavior of the other person. Better affirmations are, "I enjoy building friendships with others," and "I am the kind of parent who earns and deserves the respect and admiration of my children."
EXAMPLES
Concentration:It is easy (positive) for me (personal, categorical) to focus (action) my attention and become fascinated (excitement) with a project or activity. (present, achievement, accuracy, realistic, yourself)
Public Speaking: I have an enthusiastic, conversational style of public speaking and I enjoy the excitement of sharing ideas with large groups of people.
